The following is a public service announcement:
I have noticed a very disturbing trend as of late. Far too many people have become blase about the imminent zombie outbreak. I try my best to educate the masses, but I often think I'm just talking to myself. Sadly, despite my best efforts to warn people of this impending doom, I too often hear the following:
"It will never happen."
"Seriously? Zombies? You do know that zombies aren't real, right?!?"
"Are you off your meds?"
In the 60s and 70s, defending against a zombie home invasion was easier. As long as you had a stash of food and water and enough plywood to board up the place, you could wait for help to arrive in relative comfort. The slow, shambling zombies of yore were easy to kill - a reasonably well placed blow to the head and you were home-free. Not to mention that they were so blinded by brain lust that they failed to organize any sort of coordinated attack.
Today, however, all bets are off. The new breed of zombie is fast. Very, very fast. Like "Carl Lewis trained these bastards" fast. And what's worse, they've figured out how to work together, focused on the common goal of feasting on your juicy, juicy flesh.
Now you have been duly warned, so I implore you all to make preparations. Because when the zombie apocalypse occurs (and it will), don't come crying to me.