It's Too Late

Don't say I didn't try to warn you.  I thought I had given you ample time to prepare.  To train your family in combat techniques.  To squirrel away supplies.  To fortify your home.  But you didn't listen, did you?  And now, it's too late. 

Oh, and don't expect to come knocking on my door, looking for shelter.  If I have learned anything from watching movies, it's this: you never allow extra people into your shelter.  It's a guarantee that some dumb ass will have a zombie bite that they don't tell you about.  And then, 30 minutes later, you're the main course at a brain buffet. 





P.S.  Hubby and I saw this sign on the roadside during our drive home from the new house.  The town was using it to inform commuters that some construction is taking place this week.  However, some smartie pants switched it to this instead.  It was blinking out the above warning all weekend long.  Hilarious! 

It's Gonna Happen, Don't Pretend It's Not

The following is a public service announcement:

I have noticed a very disturbing trend as of late. Far too many people have become blase about the imminent zombie outbreak. I try my best to educate the masses, but I often think I'm just talking to myself. Sadly, despite my best efforts to warn people of this impending doom, I too often hear the following:

"It will never happen."

"Seriously? Zombies? You do know that zombies aren't real, right?!?"

"Are you off your meds?"

In the 60s and 70s, defending against a zombie home invasion was easier. As long as you had a stash of food and water and enough plywood to board up the place, you could wait for help to arrive in relative comfort. The slow, shambling zombies of yore were easy to kill - a reasonably well placed blow to the head and you were home-free. Not to mention that they were so blinded by brain lust that they failed to organize any sort of coordinated attack.

Today, however, all bets are off. The new breed of zombie is fast. Very, very fast. Like "Carl Lewis trained these bastards" fast. And what's worse, they've figured out how to work together, focused on the common goal of feasting on your juicy, juicy flesh.

Now you have been duly warned, so I implore you all to make preparations. Because when the zombie apocalypse occurs (and it will), don't come crying to me.

Tag - You're It!

Hey, I've been tagged! I've never been tagged before. Not once. Ever. And then I saw it - Mardel, over at Purls & Murmurs tagged me - me, little 'ole me.

So, here's the deal:

• Get tagged by someone
• Write down 5 things that have never been revealed on your blog before
• Tag 5 others

Here goes:

1. I have a strange fear of zombies. At each home that I have ever lived in, I actually think about how I would zombie-proof the place, should there ever be an outbreak of zombies. Yes, I know zombies aren't real - I'm not that crazy. Oddly enough, zombie movies are some of my favourites - hey, I believe in facing your fears - what doesn't kill you (and eat your brains), makes you stronger.
   
2. When I got my dog, it took me two weeks to name him. I strongly believe you should get to know someone before you name him or her, so that the name fits the personality. I never understand how people can choose a name for their child prior to birth. Although I took a lot of grief at the time, it was worth it - I can't imagine any other name for him. His full name is Simon Freep. When he was a pup, he would find the highest point in any room and then fling himself off of it. This reminded me of Fearless Freep, from a Bugs Bunny - Yosemite Sam cartoon. The Freep character (Sam) is a vaudeville performer that dives into a tiny bucket, from a great height at the urging of Bugs.
   
3. I love shoes. I am always on the quest for a beautiful, unique pair of shoes. At last count, I have 93 pairs (not including athletic shoes and winter boots). If I had more closet space, I'd most certainly have more shoes.
   
4. My husband and I bought 4 acres of land a year and a half ago. We hope to build a house on the property next year. Oddly enough, the house that we want to build has a lot of closet (shoe) space.
5. By training, I am an Organometallic Chemist. The chemistry research that I did during undergrad and grad school has been published in several scientific journals, like the Journal of the American Chemical Society. To get my M.Sc., I did 2 years of full-time research, attended classes, wrote an original 150 page thesis and defended that thesis in front of an audience. This was one of the most difficult, but rewarding times of my life.
   

Time to pass it on - I tag Marji, Stephanie, Barbara, Angie and Gaylen. If y'all feel compelled to play along, I will be interested to read what you have to say.