22 January 2010

It's Gonna Happen, Don't Pretend It's Not

The following is a public service announcement:

I have noticed a very disturbing trend as of late. Far too many people have become blase about the imminent zombie outbreak. I try my best to educate the masses, but I often think I'm just talking to myself. Sadly, despite my best efforts to warn people of this impending doom, I too often hear the following:

"It will never happen."

"Seriously? Zombies? You do know that zombies aren't real, right?!?"

"Are you off your meds?"

In the 60s and 70s, defending against a zombie home invasion was easier. As long as you had a stash of food and water and enough plywood to board up the place, you could wait for help to arrive in relative comfort. The slow, shambling zombies of yore were easy to kill - a reasonably well placed blow to the head and you were home-free. Not to mention that they were so blinded by brain lust that they failed to organize any sort of coordinated attack.

Today, however, all bets are off. The new breed of zombie is fast. Very, very fast. Like "Carl Lewis trained these bastards" fast. And what's worse, they've figured out how to work together, focused on the common goal of feasting on your juicy, juicy flesh.

Now you have been duly warned, so I implore you all to make preparations. Because when the zombie apocalypse occurs (and it will), don't come crying to me.

19 comments:

Evil Angel said...

Zombies do exsist and here is the link that proves it....
http://blacknailpolishandlipgloss.blogspot.com/2009/10/apple-doesnt-fall-far-from-tree.html

And she was such a beatiful baby!

Becky said...

Be sure to see the indy movie "Zombies of Mass Destruction".

Ann's Fashion Studio said...

OK these freak me out and I'm not watching any more of the videos.....you can't make me :)

Michelle said...

You always have to be prepared for zombies...don't let this happen to you!! http://theoatmeal.com/comics/zombie_how

gwensews said...

I've seen a lot of zombies. But, it was in the 60s, and well, you've heard what we were doing back then, right?

April and Ashley said...

I have my plans in place!!!

Rose said...

Yes, I laughed at first. Now I'm off to make preparations. I haven't seen any zombies since the 70s. Thanks for the warning.

deb said...

It's as simple as this, if zombies exist in your mind, they DO exist. And after seeing the trailers, yes, they will exist for me at midnight tonight! Thank goodness there's 2 wild tigers in the house for defense.

Mary Beth said...

Is Simon prepared?

Toby Wollin said...

This is why the DH has every 'defend your self against Zombies' book ever published. Truly.

Terese said...

When I read this I just have to post a link to another t-shirt that you might find helpful when you're educating the masses. It's a tough job, but someone's got to do it! Keep up the good work! ;)

http://www.splitreason.com/product/526#

tarabu said...

Get a shotgun, get shells, and never underestimate the power of a heavy-bladed sword as your weapon of last resort. Also, zombies aren't the cleverest chaps in the field, so having lots of old metal a la Sanford & Son around the property for them to trip over can warn you to their imminent arrival.

Also tinaseamonster.etsy.com has some great zombie gear.

Kurage said...

Random thoughts of the zombie apocalypse often keep me up at night as well. I keep the Zombie Survival Guide at my bedside for easy reference.


http://www.amazon.ca/Zombie-Survival-Guide-Complete-Protection/dp/1400049628

BTW- love the shirt.

Elaray said...

Oh no. Now I have one more thing to worry about.

angie.a said...

you crack me up. Silly girl.

Zombies. Must be a Canadian thing.

;)

Becky said...

I have been doing some reading up so I know how to prepare-- "The Zombie Survival Guide" and "Pride & Prejudice & Zombies". Gonna kick some zombie butt like it's 1859. ;)

amber said...

Love that shirt. :)

Kathleen C. said...

What I find so interesting about this is that there is another real zombie believing and preparing blog that I read and she too is... a teacher. Of teenagers.
What is is about teaching middle and high school level that makes one a believer in zombies... hmmmm?

Teresa said...

I have a sometimes I worry about zombies tee too! :) I love tinatheseamonster. :)