20 May 2007

Pants, Crops, Capris & Shorts

Let me just start by saying that you will never see me in leggings. Nor will I ever assault you with visions of me packed into a pair of skinny jeans. Sometimes, I vow that I will not follow a trend (gauchos come to mind) and then eventually my better judgement wears down and I give in. Not this time - I promise.

First a few tips that I believe all women should heed:
  1. Only on threat of bodily harm should you ever wear pants low enough to show rear cleavage (either sitting or standing).
  2. Unless your legs could be used to pick my teeth, you should never wear pants made of shiny fabric.
  3. On all that is holy, please avoid any pants that are so tight that I can read the label on your panties.
  4. Please, before you leave the house for the day, look at your rear view in the mirror. VPLs are not classy - for anyone - ever.
  5. If you feel the need to wear shorts, please keep them a respectable length. Unless your name actually is Daisy Duke, don't wear her shorts.
  6. If you own Mom jeans, burn them now. If you own acid washed jeans, burn them now.
  7. If you are over the age of 5, do not wear overalls in public.
  8. Under no circumstances, should you ever wear these.

MaxMara 'Pia' Straight Leg Cuffed Pants - $395

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Elie Tahari 'Olympia' Pants - $228

Light, wide-leg pants are styled with a removable fabric tie at the waist.


Jones New York Sport Roll Cuff Pants - $54

Tie belt cinches the waist of easy twill pants with button details at the belt loops and legs, which can be rolled up and secured.


MARC JACOBS Short Wide Leg Striped Linen Pants - $725

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Kenneth Cole Reaction Cuffed Pants - $79

Menswear-inspired trousers, styled with a flat front and boot-cut legs.


Beth Bowley Dobby Stripe Shorts - $154

Textured stripe subtly patterns knee-length shorts with a tab waist and creased legs.


Make + Model Roll Cuff Shorts - $44

Button-detailed belt loops add style to essential shorts in pure, soft cotton.


Free People 'Benjis' Big Pocket Shorts - $68

Comfy, casual shorts have a low-slung waistband with encased drawstring detail. Inverted pleats shape oversized patch pockets, and button tabs secure cuffed hems.


All the above are from Nordstrom.com.


Carolyn (Diary of a Sewing Fanatic) said...

Okay ~ thanks for the laugh! I needed it...the link to the knee-length hammer pants had me laughing out loud!

Unknown said...

Really, who in their right mind would pay $725 for a pair of linen pants? Thanks for the "inspiration". You have me back in my sewing room after a very, very long, shall we say, sabatical?

Anonymous said...

Wow, those are SOME pants in that last tip.

Thanks for browsing Nordstrom for me. They owe you a commish since I just HAD to have one of the skirts (and now, need a top to match), (oh, and shoes!), even though it's a bit pricey, I splurged for work. There are millions of ways to justify it.

Anyway, thanks for turning me on to a skirt that I absolutely love!!

Sharon Sews said...

Thanks for the laugh! You said what I've often thought.

Gina said...

I'm not even sure if I support the cropped trouser or the long short. Both seem like they could create proportion problems for a shorter gal. And leggings? Ugh! I hate to even wear them to the gym.

Summerset said...

Um, wow, I have to agree! I don't wear crop or capri pants, either. My legs are already short and stocky, I don't need the visual of being cut off half way down!

BTW, there is a term for being able to see thongs and other underwear above the top of very, very low rise jeans: "whale tail".